I love FreshMD's blog. She has a wonderful marriage, beautiful and secure children and an incredible profession. She even volunteers at a refugee clinic. This post, in particular, was very encouraging. (so glad I have number 10 checked off my list!!!)
Ten guidelines for medicine-life balance
Right now, this month, seven years out of residency with a part-time position at the refugee clinic and three and three-quarters children, I have work-life balance. It's somewhat precarious, something that could be toppled by illness or an unbearable colleague or a newborn, but I would rate my current satisfaction with both career and home life as high. Here are some philosophical and practical guidelines that I follow:
1. Accept that you can't have it all - at least not at once - but you can have a life that is rich and full and satisfying. I watch resignedly as other (childless) physicians at my clinic leave to spend months working in Afghanistan and Peru. I'm the mother that arrives late to the preschool Christmas potluck and sets a box of mandarin oranges next to the homemade cheesy noodle casseroles. My son's school uniform pants are embarrassingly short and I couldn't make a recent cross-cultural mental health conference because I'm home with my daughter on Thursdays. But I have kind, secure children and what is arguably the most delightful, rewarding patient population in the city. It's enough.
2. Be clear about your boundaries and don't apologize for them. I work Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. I can't start any earlier than 9AM due to school drop-off. I've had potential employers rework schedules and change clinic start times when I tell them my availability.
3. Don't compare your finances to others'. Recently, my six-year-old son asked me, "Where do you and Daddy get money from?" He was taken aback when I explained that we are paid for our work. All this time he had assumed we were going to work for pleasure and to help others. This pleased me no end. I don't want money to be the prime consideration in my decisions.
Every year the BC Ministry of Health puts out the "Blue Book", which lists what every physician in the province billed the Medical Services Plan. I've perused it before, but no good comes from seeing that my family physician neighbour bills more than five times what I do. I start to gauge the wrong things in terms of money; what are quiet days at home puttering in the yard with my four-year-old worth?
4. Say no. This may be the most important skill I've learned in the last five years. If I feel awkward saying no to someone's face, I say I'll consider their request. Then I say no by email. I don't bother with reasons or excuses. I came across a quote from one of Dr. Gabor Mate's books a few months ago that I think of almost daily: "Always choose guilt over resentment."
5. Write. I take ten minutes once or twice a week to document for myself what was memorable. This has a magical way of allowing what's important to rise to the top while the irritations of daily life drift away, affording perspective. Here's something lifted directly from a journal entry this summer:
Playland yesterday, Leif smiling as he soared through the air, Saskia looking non-plussed even when having a great time. It felt wonderful to give them a day of whatever they wanted, unlimited rides, mini-donuts, cotton candy, a snowie despite wasps hovering over the syrup spigots, eaten cross-legged on concrete in makeshift shade. They were good as gold. Felt strange to see legs dangling from a great height, delighted screams, ferris wheel buckets the colours of candy against the North Shore mountains, and think that the same world has refugee camps.
6. Consider exhaustion the state of having given, rather than having been taken from. A few months ago, as I rounded the bend to approach the Second Narrows Bridge on my way home from work, CBC's Rich Terfry on the radio and Ariana strapped in the backseat, I thought with dismay how overwhelmingly fatigued I was. I felt drained, spent, exhausted - and reflecting on these words I realized that resenting others having taken from me was passive and inaccurate. I had given what I had by my own choice. When considering Dr. William Osler's words, "Let each day's work absorb your entire energy and satisfy your widest ambition," anything short of collapsing into bed completely spent each night feels a waste.
7. Travel lightly. I try to apply minimalism to every aspect of my life. People remark on how tidy my home is, but the truth is that we have very little stuff. I decided two years ago to leave the HIV clinic to focus my part-time work at the refugee clinic only. We eat simply. Any commitments are carefully selected and for a defined period of time.
8. Hold an AGM with your spouse. Once a year, Pete and I hire a babysitter and take an evening to take stock of where we're at in every major area of our life: his work, my work, finances, church, where we live, parenting, friendships. We identify what's working, what needs to change and when we need to reevaluate. We like to feel that our choices are deliberate; we don't want to float up to our forties to say, "Huh! So this is how we live." I have such fond memories of these evenings, full of gratitude and brainstorming and collaboration, and everything recorded in my notebook.
9. Three projects. At any given time, I have three projects on the go that require one to two weeks to complete. One relates to work, one to home and one to something creative. For example, I might apply for a research grant, order a coffee table and frame some of my photos for our front entry. No new projects can be tackled until all of the original three are completed. (See zenhabits for more.)
10. Marry well. Pete (who works full-time in a non-medical field) is supportive, a non-complainer, hands-on with the kids and flexible around gender roles. We've both made sacrifices. He is undoubtedly the linchpin to my current contented state of mother-doctor.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thanksgiving...
"As we pause to thank Him for the blessings of the past year,
we must not forget to thank Him for the lessons we have learned through our difficult times.
We are not to be thankful for just the pleasant, easy things, but ALL things."
Noah and I road tripped to Iowa for a less than 24 hour period to spend thanksgiving with his family. We made the 5.5 hour drive down there just for the day since I had to work black friday. It was fun to get to share this holiday with him, and his family. Albeit, I have never watched football on thanksgiving before (probably won't again) and miss my family conversations of world events it was still special to see him with his family and watch their traditions. I am so thankful I am married to this most wonderful man, and that we have so many holidays ahead. I can't wait to make holiday traditions with our own children, and watch him be the most amazing dad.
I miss my family like crazy, but am thankful I have them to miss. I am thankful for unconditional love. I am thankful for my life. I did have a cry when I skyped them on thanksgiving. I felt so out of place at the Midwestern gathering....people reading books, watching football and playing video games. People didn't ask me about New Zealand, I think they think we drive horses and carts still. His Grandpa and Uncle didn't even know what the European Union was.....
I am so used to family conversations, prayer times, discussions about thankfulness and hours spent curled up on the couch drinking coffee looking at family photos or watching home videos. I went for a walk around the block with my love during the day, and we talked about it. He likened my feelings to culture shock. Which made sense since I felt like a fish out of water. Don't get me wrong, Noah's family is lovely and care about eachother, but they go about life and family in a different way than I do.
The joys of marriage....
We hauled back after dinner on thursday to get back home for work friday. However, I got called friday morning (5am!!) to see if I wanted to be canceled and ofcourse it was a YES!
Noah was such a trooper and spent {!!8!!} hours shopping with me. We got pretty much all of our christmas presents bought, plus a TV (our first ever!) and an espresso maker - its awesome!!!
check it out, a Nespresso :)
Noah also snuck away to Macy's to buy me an unknown piece of Jewelry, which I am dying to see but don't get to until christmas. boo.
We hit some unbelievable sales, it was so fun. Its the first time ever for me, and for both of us as a married couple, to be able to spend some money on eachother. Thanks to my great job, and hard core budgeting skills we were able to get some treats for ourselves, the house and friends without putting anything on our credit card and we can still save our budgeted amount.
Hubs also got me a new purse and wallet, eeeeee, for my birthday which is in three weeks!
So grateful for a good job and for a husband who loves to spoil me - and budgets so he can!!
I think I'm going to go enjoy a home made vanilla latte now....wish you could come over for one too!
we must not forget to thank Him for the lessons we have learned through our difficult times.
We are not to be thankful for just the pleasant, easy things, but ALL things."
Noah and I road tripped to Iowa for a less than 24 hour period to spend thanksgiving with his family. We made the 5.5 hour drive down there just for the day since I had to work black friday. It was fun to get to share this holiday with him, and his family. Albeit, I have never watched football on thanksgiving before (probably won't again) and miss my family conversations of world events it was still special to see him with his family and watch their traditions. I am so thankful I am married to this most wonderful man, and that we have so many holidays ahead. I can't wait to make holiday traditions with our own children, and watch him be the most amazing dad.
I miss my family like crazy, but am thankful I have them to miss. I am thankful for unconditional love. I am thankful for my life. I did have a cry when I skyped them on thanksgiving. I felt so out of place at the Midwestern gathering....people reading books, watching football and playing video games. People didn't ask me about New Zealand, I think they think we drive horses and carts still. His Grandpa and Uncle didn't even know what the European Union was.....
I am so used to family conversations, prayer times, discussions about thankfulness and hours spent curled up on the couch drinking coffee looking at family photos or watching home videos. I went for a walk around the block with my love during the day, and we talked about it. He likened my feelings to culture shock. Which made sense since I felt like a fish out of water. Don't get me wrong, Noah's family is lovely and care about eachother, but they go about life and family in a different way than I do.
The joys of marriage....
We hauled back after dinner on thursday to get back home for work friday. However, I got called friday morning (5am!!) to see if I wanted to be canceled and ofcourse it was a YES!
Noah was such a trooper and spent {!!8!!} hours shopping with me. We got pretty much all of our christmas presents bought, plus a TV (our first ever!) and an espresso maker - its awesome!!!
check it out, a Nespresso :)
Noah also snuck away to Macy's to buy me an unknown piece of Jewelry, which I am dying to see but don't get to until christmas. boo.
We hit some unbelievable sales, it was so fun. Its the first time ever for me, and for both of us as a married couple, to be able to spend some money on eachother. Thanks to my great job, and hard core budgeting skills we were able to get some treats for ourselves, the house and friends without putting anything on our credit card and we can still save our budgeted amount.
Hubs also got me a new purse and wallet, eeeeee, for my birthday which is in three weeks!
So grateful for a good job and for a husband who loves to spoil me - and budgets so he can!!
I think I'm going to go enjoy a home made vanilla latte now....wish you could come over for one too!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
God gave me you
"God gave me you for the ups and downs, God gave me you for the days of doubt" - have you heard this country song on the radio? I love it. I love it because it reminds me so much of my own love and marriage. Before I got married I adored Noah because he was sweet, caring, thoughtful, strong, committed, didn't believe in divorce and had dreams that coincided with mine. But I didn't really think about the hard times. We didn't really have many during our dating months. We were so in love and everything was wonderful. I was finishing nursing school, he was going to start Grad school and we were going to move away and start our life together on our own. And then reality hit - I had no job, we had no money, we had no furniture and we had no family. What about our goals to pay off our student loans in two years? what about our dreams of intentional community? I fell into clinical depression with homesickness, grief and who knows what else. It was pretty bad and it was a tough first six months. But man, God gave me Noah. He gave me him for those up and down days, and for when I doubted about what we were doing in freezing cold Minnesota and what God was doing with my nursing. He loved me, treasured me and cared for me when I was an emotional black hole. I think this is the real beauty of marriage. When life gets hard, your marriage gets stronger. You fall more in love. You realize how deeply you need this person you vowed your life to. Its not just about the fun of living with someone and falling asleep with someone, its about this stitching that forms between the two of you during moments of sadness, fear, vulnerability, honesty and self sacrifice. Its so, so precious. It is seriously the best decision I have ever made and will ever make (besides having Jesus as my savior!).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCf2PoTuh4Q&ob=av3e
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCf2PoTuh4Q&ob=av3e
Friday, November 11, 2011
Contentment (is mine a Counterfeit?)
Noah and I have had a few discussions lately about how we feel like we aren't spending enough time with the Lord. Our reasons for this are as follows:
1) Our lives have been so busy and stressful with work and school that our brains can't handle anything more than zoning out to a TV show when we get home. Then we go back to study.
2) A lot of our faith comes from doing. We spend time with Jesus personally, in our prayers and talks, but we feel somewhat disconnected from him when we aren't serving. This is harder for Noah since he spends most of his time alone in a lab. I at least get to love on my patients, and minister to them.
I've been thinking about how much time I spend clicking around online too. I click on facebook, pinteest, email and my blog. Such a colossal waste of time. I mean seriously, blogs are great and can reach people but GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING!! I could also be lovin on my husband way more my giving him a back-rub or something than just browsing the internet. I'm pretty ashamed and bummed about it.
I'm not going to touch or open my laptop in the morning until I've spent time in prayer and in my Bible.
I also have to keep in mind than an online community can feel great, but its truly a counterfeit to the real thing. I need to invest in my neighbors, coworkers, church friends and family - not find fellow bloggers to like my page. I need to not fill the holes in my heart with lesser things (like being 'liked' on pinterest) but in Jesus filling those spots. I need truth, which comes from the Holy Spirit.
I need to surrender. I need true contentment. It only comes from my King!!
1) Our lives have been so busy and stressful with work and school that our brains can't handle anything more than zoning out to a TV show when we get home. Then we go back to study.
2) A lot of our faith comes from doing. We spend time with Jesus personally, in our prayers and talks, but we feel somewhat disconnected from him when we aren't serving. This is harder for Noah since he spends most of his time alone in a lab. I at least get to love on my patients, and minister to them.
I've been thinking about how much time I spend clicking around online too. I click on facebook, pinteest, email and my blog. Such a colossal waste of time. I mean seriously, blogs are great and can reach people but GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING!! I could also be lovin on my husband way more my giving him a back-rub or something than just browsing the internet. I'm pretty ashamed and bummed about it.
I'm not going to touch or open my laptop in the morning until I've spent time in prayer and in my Bible.
I also have to keep in mind than an online community can feel great, but its truly a counterfeit to the real thing. I need to invest in my neighbors, coworkers, church friends and family - not find fellow bloggers to like my page. I need to not fill the holes in my heart with lesser things (like being 'liked' on pinterest) but in Jesus filling those spots. I need truth, which comes from the Holy Spirit.
I need to surrender. I need true contentment. It only comes from my King!!
He answered my prayer - not in the way I sought...
Sometimes life gets me down.
Ridculous I know, I have so many things to be thankful for.
But I forget about being grateful and have moments (ummm, sometimes hours) of I guess in all honesty would be resentment. I get resentful that my hubs has to spend soooo much time in the lab getting his data for his research. I get resentful that we are paying off student loans when others had it all paid for. Sometimes I get resentful that Noah and I are working hard to get degrees that provide us with work to support our dreams of doing missions work, when others don't make sacrifices to build skills that lead to employment and just expect to 'raise' their money for mission trips and ministry. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about giving. I just personally would want people's money actually going to the people I am serving, not to my phone bill, plane flight, food and loan payments. But that's our conviction, and if people take it up with the Lord and they are fine having people pay for those things that is wonderful too. But it is hard for me sometimes. We would love to be heading overseas soon, but we feel strongly about needing to be self-funded. We also feel its where the Lord is leading us, and how he wants to steward our gifts and finances. He has a different plan for everyone, I just have to remind myself of that on the hard days :)
I get resentful that we live in a (TINY) one bedroom apartment, while so many of our friends are starting to buy their own homes. Its especially painful because I LOVE hospitality, and know so many people with big homes who don't even have people over. How I would fill an extra bedroom or two with guests and friends (and lavender sachets on the beds, with welcome baskets....one day!)
I get resentful that other people just have their life all set out. I on the otherhand am constantly trying to decide where God is taking my future - midwifery?medicine? advanced nurse practice?public health? medicine?....then it repeats :) how can I stay home as much as I want? how can I have a profession too? do I want to be in school four more years? do I just want a baby now? will I be ok waiting til I am 28 to have a baby? I really want to be a doctor, can we pull it off? seriously folks, I think about these things at least once a day. on days off, definitely a lot more. I have a 28 page journal document on my laptop that has thoughts on all these issues (that I have been writing for over a year). You have probably figured out by now decisions are hard for me!! whats worse my husband is incredibly supportive and wants me to do whatever my heart desires, oh dear!! Something I am learning is that God's will for us is kinda like a playground. The fence around the playground are his principles - give to and love the widows and orphans, preach the good news, love others, love Me...and if we choose to do that by being on the swings (teacher), slide (doctor), monkeybars (electrician), see-saw (stay at home mom) then we are in his 'will'. For some people there may be a clear calling/direction - but if you think about it only a few people in the Bible were told what to do with their lives - Moses, Paul, Jeremiah (and a few others). I don't think we have to have God audibly tell us what to do with our lives. For me personally, God uses peace to speak to me. I feel very at peace about some decisions, and not others. And I know its the Holy Spirit speaking to me. Jesus is after all the "Prince of Peace."
So right now I am seeking peace about my decision, and I think I am finally able to decide :)
oh and yeah, sometimes I get resentful of not being able to have a baby yet. sigh.
But then when I get all those icky thoughts out, God is quick to set me straight by reminding me that He is always with me. That He has blessed me. He knows my plan and it IS for good. It might not be exactly as I want it to be, which is why I love this quote:
"He answered prayer - not in the way I sought
Nor in the way I thought He ought;
But in His own good way; and I could see
He answered in the fashion best for me."
I have to put all this sillyness behind me, and just catch those thoughts before they affect my emotions. Because I AM blessed. And God's plan for me already has been SO SO good, I just can't wait for what the future holds....
goodbye insecurity & resentment, you have been a bad friend to me!!
Ridculous I know, I have so many things to be thankful for.
But I forget about being grateful and have moments (ummm, sometimes hours) of I guess in all honesty would be resentment. I get resentful that my hubs has to spend soooo much time in the lab getting his data for his research. I get resentful that we are paying off student loans when others had it all paid for. Sometimes I get resentful that Noah and I are working hard to get degrees that provide us with work to support our dreams of doing missions work, when others don't make sacrifices to build skills that lead to employment and just expect to 'raise' their money for mission trips and ministry. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about giving. I just personally would want people's money actually going to the people I am serving, not to my phone bill, plane flight, food and loan payments. But that's our conviction, and if people take it up with the Lord and they are fine having people pay for those things that is wonderful too. But it is hard for me sometimes. We would love to be heading overseas soon, but we feel strongly about needing to be self-funded. We also feel its where the Lord is leading us, and how he wants to steward our gifts and finances. He has a different plan for everyone, I just have to remind myself of that on the hard days :)
I get resentful that we live in a (TINY) one bedroom apartment, while so many of our friends are starting to buy their own homes. Its especially painful because I LOVE hospitality, and know so many people with big homes who don't even have people over. How I would fill an extra bedroom or two with guests and friends (and lavender sachets on the beds, with welcome baskets....one day!)
I get resentful that other people just have their life all set out. I on the otherhand am constantly trying to decide where God is taking my future - midwifery?medicine? advanced nurse practice?public health? medicine?....then it repeats :) how can I stay home as much as I want? how can I have a profession too? do I want to be in school four more years? do I just want a baby now? will I be ok waiting til I am 28 to have a baby? I really want to be a doctor, can we pull it off? seriously folks, I think about these things at least once a day. on days off, definitely a lot more. I have a 28 page journal document on my laptop that has thoughts on all these issues (that I have been writing for over a year). You have probably figured out by now decisions are hard for me!! whats worse my husband is incredibly supportive and wants me to do whatever my heart desires, oh dear!! Something I am learning is that God's will for us is kinda like a playground. The fence around the playground are his principles - give to and love the widows and orphans, preach the good news, love others, love Me...and if we choose to do that by being on the swings (teacher), slide (doctor), monkeybars (electrician), see-saw (stay at home mom) then we are in his 'will'. For some people there may be a clear calling/direction - but if you think about it only a few people in the Bible were told what to do with their lives - Moses, Paul, Jeremiah (and a few others). I don't think we have to have God audibly tell us what to do with our lives. For me personally, God uses peace to speak to me. I feel very at peace about some decisions, and not others. And I know its the Holy Spirit speaking to me. Jesus is after all the "Prince of Peace."
So right now I am seeking peace about my decision, and I think I am finally able to decide :)
oh and yeah, sometimes I get resentful of not being able to have a baby yet. sigh.
But then when I get all those icky thoughts out, God is quick to set me straight by reminding me that He is always with me. That He has blessed me. He knows my plan and it IS for good. It might not be exactly as I want it to be, which is why I love this quote:
"He answered prayer - not in the way I sought
Nor in the way I thought He ought;
But in His own good way; and I could see
He answered in the fashion best for me."
I have to put all this sillyness behind me, and just catch those thoughts before they affect my emotions. Because I AM blessed. And God's plan for me already has been SO SO good, I just can't wait for what the future holds....
goodbye insecurity & resentment, you have been a bad friend to me!!
Monday, October 31, 2011
lessons learned from a definitely imperfect wife!!
marriage tid bits from a still newly-wed....
- Just suck it up and be the first to say sorry. even if you don't really feel like it was your fault. for some reason the first one to give grace just causes a domino affect and its so much easier to work things through.
- Your spouse is not your enemy, and is not out to get you. Don't forge the value in remembering good will. Your spouse (even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment) LOVES you, treasures you and probably feels really bad for the dumb thing they did or said.
- if you are like me, you struggle with knowing when to be 'constructive' and not to be. Do I tell him he left his clothes on the floor again and it bothered me, or do I pick them up and just let it go? but what if that just enables irresponsibility? haha the thought went through my brain our first month of marriage. The best action - the next time you are having a marriage pow-pow to evaluate how things are going, have a conversation about things that you love and things that you would like your spouse to work on (come on people, we live independently for a long time and our hubbys are very different from us - we need to spell it out for them as they aren't mind readers). I told Noah in one of these pow wows "babe you are so awesome and I love this time of coming together and sharing our space. But I would really appreciate it if you could drop your clothes in the hamper I left beside your side of the bed, instead of the floor. Does that sound ok? I know it probably isn't a big deal to you but it is for me. My home is my sanctuary, and if it feels chaotic then I feel chaotic." Instead of a big angry conversation about the bad habits of your spouse it can be a great opportunity for them to learn the reasons about the request and more about YOU. (if your hubs is like mine he needs to know the WHY do understand the HOW)
- recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Trust the other in them. I am really, really bad with the finances thing. I will totally deprive myself of anything and then not be able to handle it and spend way too much. Then freak out. Plus numbers and my brain just are not friends. But my husband is a physicist. He thinks in numbers. He is great with money. So he is in charge. It was hard for this independent miss to hand this over to my hubby, especially when I know how big finances is. It can make or break a marriage. But it is so comforting to know it is in his hands. I know my budget, and I stick to it. We meet regularly (at least once a month) to talk about how our budget, how things are going and our financial goals. I still feel like I am part of it, but I don't feel the weight.
- make time for eachother. We have been so grateful for distance from family and friends (ok, well I wasn't at first). For the first few years of marriage we just have time for eachother. It has been so good. I would definitely any newly married couple to leave and cleave for a while. Some friends of mine moved to a different country for a year just to do this together. Its so great and causes you to hold to eachother in a way you just can't do if you live in a safe and comfortable community.
more thoughts to come!!
enjoy the ride people, its sweet, hard, painful, beautiful, heart wrenching and incredible. And most of all so, so good!!!
- Just suck it up and be the first to say sorry. even if you don't really feel like it was your fault. for some reason the first one to give grace just causes a domino affect and its so much easier to work things through.
- Your spouse is not your enemy, and is not out to get you. Don't forge the value in remembering good will. Your spouse (even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment) LOVES you, treasures you and probably feels really bad for the dumb thing they did or said.
- if you are like me, you struggle with knowing when to be 'constructive' and not to be. Do I tell him he left his clothes on the floor again and it bothered me, or do I pick them up and just let it go? but what if that just enables irresponsibility? haha the thought went through my brain our first month of marriage. The best action - the next time you are having a marriage pow-pow to evaluate how things are going, have a conversation about things that you love and things that you would like your spouse to work on (come on people, we live independently for a long time and our hubbys are very different from us - we need to spell it out for them as they aren't mind readers). I told Noah in one of these pow wows "babe you are so awesome and I love this time of coming together and sharing our space. But I would really appreciate it if you could drop your clothes in the hamper I left beside your side of the bed, instead of the floor. Does that sound ok? I know it probably isn't a big deal to you but it is for me. My home is my sanctuary, and if it feels chaotic then I feel chaotic." Instead of a big angry conversation about the bad habits of your spouse it can be a great opportunity for them to learn the reasons about the request and more about YOU. (if your hubs is like mine he needs to know the WHY do understand the HOW)
- recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Trust the other in them. I am really, really bad with the finances thing. I will totally deprive myself of anything and then not be able to handle it and spend way too much. Then freak out. Plus numbers and my brain just are not friends. But my husband is a physicist. He thinks in numbers. He is great with money. So he is in charge. It was hard for this independent miss to hand this over to my hubby, especially when I know how big finances is. It can make or break a marriage. But it is so comforting to know it is in his hands. I know my budget, and I stick to it. We meet regularly (at least once a month) to talk about how our budget, how things are going and our financial goals. I still feel like I am part of it, but I don't feel the weight.
- make time for eachother. We have been so grateful for distance from family and friends (ok, well I wasn't at first). For the first few years of marriage we just have time for eachother. It has been so good. I would definitely any newly married couple to leave and cleave for a while. Some friends of mine moved to a different country for a year just to do this together. Its so great and causes you to hold to eachother in a way you just can't do if you live in a safe and comfortable community.
more thoughts to come!!
enjoy the ride people, its sweet, hard, painful, beautiful, heart wrenching and incredible. And most of all so, so good!!!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sweet moments.
Ya know what? My life is full of sweet little moments. So many sweet moments that I didn't even know I would have when I dreamed of my future as a child. Life isn't too exciting for us right now - at least its not full of the adventures I dreamed I would have in my early twenties when I was 12. Noah and I are in school. I work full time. I graduate in 5 weeks (yay!) and will be busy studying for my medical school entrance exams. We go to church (when I don't work sundays) and we have a few friends. Its definitely not kayaking down the Amazon river, providing health care in the jungle, doing photojournalism and speaking at conferences - like I thought it would. But I know that time will come. We are well on our way as we meet each goal we make. But life definitely isn't boring. Marriage is such an incredible adventure, even better than the amazon! And I'm pretty sure its because of God's greatest gift to me - my husband. We hold tight to eachother in these rather lonely, hard times. On the weekends he drops me off and picks me up at work, just so we can see eachother a little more. I drive down on the weekdays so we can have lunch together at the university. we love to grocery shop together, cook together, fold laundry together. He knows even before I do when I am feeling stressed out. I love these precious, sweet moments. We have been married nearly 18 months and we still could spend every minute together and not get sick of eachother. Cuddling in bed together is just as amazing as it was on our honeymoon! Maybe TMI but I haven't taken a shower by myself since the day I got married (hehe). When we don't get enough cuddles we tell eachother, "we need cuddle time" and we just relax in eachothers arms. It may not be exploring the amazon, but I just love these moments together. And I know in the future we won't have the time we do now to spend with eachother. So I'm grateful for this slow season, even for the lonely season. It would be nice to have more friends, but I know when I look back at this time I will be so thankful for all our time together.
I had better go....my love has baked us cornbread and it smells sooo good, I can't ignore it any longer!
and cuddles await.....
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