Time together

Something I have learned being married for nearly two years now is that it's really important to do fun things together. (Yes I know all the books say that!).

However I think every person has a different definition of fun. I love to read, shop, watch BBC movies, cook a gourmet dinner, have people over, decorate my house, make hand-made cards, go out for coffee and try new restaurants. I love little cute towns with cobblestone streets and antique stores.

My husband is less particular. He really loves one-on-one time, whatever that may look like. But there is one thing that he truly loves to do - birding. His dad is a naturalist and he grew up going into the woods and looking at birds and plants. Before we got married I thought it was cute. We would go out together and I would sit in the sun while he went and looked at birds. But early into our marriage I wanted to do other things. I needed the down time and wanted to read so my hubs would go out on his own. That was a big deal for us because we pretty much do everything together. everything.

After a few months I realized I was missing an opportunity to serve and love my husband by not engaging in something he loved to do. I thought of all the times he spent hours shopping with me or taking me out for coffee (which he doesn't even drink) and I was struck by how selfish I was being! And seriously, its not like he was asking me to join an online gaming club with him - his hobby involved being outside enjoying nature and getting away from the hustle and bustle of life.

So I started joining in. Now, I wake up with him at 6am on saturday mornings and we go out on an early morning hike to see the birds. He treats me with my favorite coffee, and I hold his hands while we wander in the woods for hours in the morning.

And you know what? I am learning to love it too. Check out this super awesome owl family we discovered last week:

Has there been anything in your life/marriage that you have learned to love and do for someone? I hope you found it a blessing in your relationship too!

Lessons

My husband is a graduate :)
Two weeks ago on friday April 27th he walked up on that stage and graduated with a Master in Science in Civil Engineering!
Phew, I feel like I graduated with a Masters too after all those hours sitting with him in the lab, being his audience while he practiced his presentations and proof reading papers.
I am so, so proud.
Here we are!

While I watched from the audience as we listened to speakers and sang the national anthem I experienced a feeling I was not expecting - sadness.

Sad that this season was ending. Sad that our time in Minnesota would be coming to a close. Sad that I wouldn't be sitting on campus in the giant biomedical library, waiting for hubs to get done.

If you had told me two years ago that I would have felt this way, I honestly would have laughed in your face. Two years ago I was thinking, "how am I going to survive? two years is such a long time. I can't believe I am stuck in this freezing cold state, with the worst job in the world, thousands of miles away from family and nobody wants to be our friends."
We spent thanksgiving and Christmas alone our first year, despite the fact that many people in our church knew we had no family in the area. I was mad and disappointed at the people of Minnesota. "New Zealanders would never treat people like this, I cant believe the church here is so blind to people in need."

And yet here I was, sad about closing this chapter.

Because folks, I have grown and changed. We still don't have many friends, and we still spend holidays alone, but I am stronger. I have held tight to my husband and my God these two years, content in their arms. Having two precious years where my husband and I could spend all of our time together free from heaps of family obligations and social functions has been a blessing. We are a tightly knitted cord and I know we can survive anything.
We have experienced hardship and tears that many of my friends who live in a tight community would never experience. In some ways I feel it has prepared me for a life in missions and humanitarian aid.

I don't know what is ahead of us and where we will be living in a year from now, but my time here has shown me that I have nothing to fear and God truly does bring good things from the hardest of times.

And my mum was right, It really does take two years for any new place to feel like home :)