Coffee and a Kiss

Noah woke me up this morning by handing me my favorite coffee {a Caribou caramel high rise} and a kiss. He woke up at 630am to run out and get it for me before I woke up. Good man huh?

I'm starting my post with this because I really am just blown away by my spouse. I have had a super tough week and despite my terrible attitude throughout it, he has made sure to love and treasure me.

MY WEEK:

**I found out that I had a positive exposure to a Tuberculosis patient.
Which brought an onslaught of talks with infectious disease specialists, chest xrays, blood draws and, ofcourse, tears.
I had a special blood test that was sent out of state to the Center for Disease Control to find out more. news on that later.

*I found out that my Medical school application could be lost somewhere in the New Zealand mail system.

*I found out that getting licensed as a nurse in New Zealand is going to be near impossible.

*We discovered that with my sisters pending nuptials, we have to find a way to fund 5 round trip tickets to New Zealand in the next seven months. Dear Lord....

*Hubs keeps applying for jobs and there are just no bites yet...

*Somehow I am going to have to get leave to make it down to New Zealand in July for Med School interviews (hopefully) as well as in October for my sisters wedding...thats a little tough when you only have 40 hours of vacation accrued and there is no such thing as 'leave without pay' in the nursing field.



I feel like life was just cruising along on a fun roller coaster and then we suddenly stepped on this crazy ride that drops you up and down unexpectedly (think 'Tower of Terror').


So I'm pretty sure I have been this ridiculous person to live with. So many tears and conversations about worry, over and over again. Somehow God was amazing enough to give me a man who never worries about anything and is always just super optimistic. But umm, this can be annoying sometimes to a die-hard preparer (my term instead of pessimist, since thats what I do..prepare for the worst) :)

I became swallowed up in all of the concerns this week, and it took a sweet gesture on my husbands part to pull me out of it.

The fact is -

I have an incredible partner to get through all of this with.

Worrying won't do me any good, it will just contribute to heart disease.

Taking it one day at a time is all I really can do in the end.

There is a God who is good, and will take good care of me despite it all.

There isn't much that coffee and a kiss can't make better in my world. Thankfully I have a hubby that realized that before I did.

De-brief of test day.

So I did it. I took my huge, scary, freakishly hard test. Its the first step to getting into medical school in Australia. It was hideous, to say the least. I did well in the first two parts, but the science section was awful!! I felt like I guessed the entire three hours. When I came out I thought I would just burst into tears like the past two practice tests. But I was surprisingly calm. I think it was because I have been covered in so much prayer. My parents, friends and Noah all showered me with prayers. I also think I realized that this was not the end of the world. Being a doctor is not everything. Some days it feels like it is, but I know it isn't. When I cried about this to my mum she told me this...

"Honey, life isn't about what you do. It's about who you are. You are loved. You are a wife, daughter, sister and friend. You will love being a mother. These are all so important and are not defined by what you do. Just learn to be. Even if you fail at this, it isn't fatal. None of us will think you are a failure. We are proud that you are even being courageous and taking this darn test despite the outcome. "

Why do mums just always know exactly what to say?
So after the test I took a deep breath, and practiced the spiritual exercise of breathing in the peace, and breathing out the anxiety and fear. All of my mums comforting words came back, and so did the peace of Jesus.

Everything is going to be ok.
Failure is not fatal.
If God wants me to be a doctor, He can work miracles.
He has GOOD plans for me.

I have two months until I find out the results. Two months to let it all go, and learn to really trust God with this. These lessons are so hard sometimes to learn, but so good for our growth!