one crazy semester

Daily & Weekly life of the Hensleys:
This semster I am being CRAZY and doing school full time and work full time. Yes, its nuts. I needed to finish my BSN, and it was cheapest to take more credits in a semester because of the whole 'banded' tuition thing. PLUS I get a raise, a bonus and tuition reimbursement from work when I complete it. I had already decided to do this plan by the time my work offered me a 0.9 to come work with them. Well, I wasn't stoked about working a 0.9 (9 days in a 14 week period....a lot for nursing because nursing is WAY INTENSE)...but I couldn't turn it down. Thankfully Noah is in school mode too. So this is what our lives look like
- wake up at 0530 am.
- Amy drops Noah off at the bus stop on the way to work.
- Amy works until 3:30pm.
- Amy leaves and picks Noah up at 4:08pm.
- Amy & Noah get home and eat.
- Amy & Noah do school work from 5pm - 9pm.
=- Amy & Noah chill out, either playing a game, talking or watching a fav show from 9-10pm
- Amy & Noah go to bed.

oh yes, our lives are SO exciting. Haha. On my days off I spend the whole day writing papers and posting online discussions until Noah is done with work. I allow myself a couple hours every two weeks to chill out, maybe go shopping or do something I enjoy.
Phew, its pretty intense. No time for gourmet cooking, baking, reading books or decorating. But only for another 12 weeks :)
We live a crazy life, but its ours and I love it! Its not perfect and we definitely get WAY STRESSED OUT. WE have said mean, mean things to eachother because we get burnt out and (I) stress out about the little things...like the house being messy. Sigh. Something I am just going to have to get over, cuz I'm not perfect and can't do it all.

My life is too complex to blog about

Sometimes I think my life is way to complex to blog about. For example, today my patients consisted of a tylenol overdose, a Hmong with a herniated disc, and an Anterior/Posterior Fusion. Not about the latest technique for folding towels, the date I went on with Noah, or what I made for dinner. But to be honest, I would rather read a blog about tylenol overdose anyways. So I will write one :) My PSA for the day is to be seriously aware about how much tylenol you are taking. Tylenol is everything!!! ok, not everything....but in a lot of narcotics, cold/flu remedies and a basketful of over the counter products. Its not that hard to consume over the maximum amount - 4,000mg. Taking two extra strength tylenol four times gets you there. Anything over that is tough cookies on your liver. My patient the past few days has had to drink 17 glasses of a medication called acetylcysteine - its the antidote to tylenol toxicity. It smells like rotten eggs. Seriously. Its so bad we have to mix it in a cup of coke/pepsi for it to be tolerable enough to swallow. Plus you have to load people up on potassium and phosphorus because your electrolytes suffer. Then you have to drink heaps of glasses of nasty tasting potassium/orange juice concoction because your liver is so shot you wouldn't be able to metabolize anything orally. I felt seriously bad for my patient. Not a fun time.

Even though my life is crazy, I really do love it. I love working as a nurse, caring for my patinets; advocating for them; managing their care in collaboration with the doctors, social workers and rehabilitation staff. I see so many people on a daily basis, and hear so many stories. I could never imagine working in any other field than health care. Its addicting, and will forever be in my blood.

A friend of mine wrote out a list of the 101 things she wants to do in 1001 days (about two and a half years). She had a pretty long list. Unfortunately I don't have the time (full time school + full time work + part time volunteer) to do all the awesome stuff she wants to do....but I do have a few dreams. They might not be down to earth daily ones like mailing people packages and designing dream dates with hubby BUT 1)I want to apply and be accepted into medical school. 2)I want to go to Nepal and deliver babies with an OBGYN in rural hospitals. 3)I want to become an HIV educator. 4)I want to do a 6 week internship with the World Health Organization in Geneva. 5)I want to meet and serve my neighbors intentionally. 6)I want to do an in-service on buying fair trade at church and at work. 7) I want to buy a microscope. 8) with the microscope I want to teach myself how to diagnose malaria on a slide. 9) crochet caps for neonatal babies in Africa. 10) Love my patients more. That is my 10 in 1001 days. I hope I can do it :)

sweet nothings from my hubs

So, I've been pretty far away from my sweet husband. And over the past week he has written me while I've been gone...either as a message, on FB chat or via skype. They are too wonderful not to be shared with the world....

while it was day time in NZ {i'm going to bed and my computer will be off. I love you so much, i'll be up early tomorrow so if you want to talk at 11pm your time, we can do that, otherwise i'll see you tomorrow morning. I miss you and wish you were in bed with me, i wish i could wrap my arms around you when you're sad and lonely. We'll be together in no time, I love you so much it's ridiculous}

{can't wait to process with you, love. You're such a wonderful woman and wife. Thanks for being the best wife ever. Have fun today, did the engraving turn out to be good? I'll be on from 1:30 pm on. You is smart, you is kind, you is important!!! I love you heaps!!!}


On FB wall after I had an anxiety attack {Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.}

On FB after a follow up whine session by me about how I don't know what I want to be when I grow up {Hi Ames, hope you're having a wonderful time in New Zealand. I can't wait to see what God does with our lives! Even though we don't know what we'll be doing a year from know, thankfully, He knows! :)}

From my love to his love {Hey I love you. I'm thinking about you always. Try to not worry about your future plans, it's okay to not know what you are going to be doing with your life. God knows and he'll lead us in the right direction. He cares about you, be sure to pray in the morning and listen to a worship song or something (Desert song!) "When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles." (Psalm 34:17) You're an amazing woman of God and you have a lot to offer people (and you don't even have to try...you just ooze love and care). "Why are you cast down, O Amy's soul, and why are you disquieted within her? Hope in God; for we shall again praise Him, my help and my God. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his son is with us, a prayer to the God of our lives." (Psalm 42: 5,8) Remember that God is your rock and he alone can bring you back to peace. "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." (Psalm 62:1-2) I hope some of these verses help. I know you feel really sad and lonely, and you miss me :(:(, I miss you to and I feel sad too. We'll see each other soon and we'll have each other for the rest of our lives. :):) Please remember that God is your strength and He holds every tear that comes out of your pretty eyes. I can't wait to know what you're going to do in the future, and I know it's going to be great, but leave it in the future for right now and worry about today. I love you so much, i hope this wasn't a lecture but an encouragement. You are so beautiful, amazing, filled with love, bright, happy, and lovely lady...and don't ever forget it! When you think of friends and how much you're going to miss them, dwell on the fact that you'll have more fun times with them. When you think of how much you're missing me, don't despair, just let it be a reminder of how much you love me! :):) Love you mostest ;);)}

Isn't he the bestest? Man, I have a life so much better than I deserve.

Aotearoa

Well, I'm back home in New Zealand. Did you know the Maori word for New Zealand is Aotearoa? It means land of the long white cloud. New Zealand always has these big beautiful clouds over it because of the ocean winds, its ethreal.
Goodness, its so good to be home. The wonderful fresh air, all of the plants and shrubbery, the rolling green hills and of course the ocean. oh the ocean. how it brings peace to my soul.
I just love kiwi culture. I love that is centered around people, and a cup of hot tea. As soon as I landed I had friends ringing who wanted to pop by. How I have missed people popping by....its so un-american. I don't have to pencil everyone in three weeks in advance. They want to see me, now, and I'm so cool with that.
We drove down to Hamilton where laura {awesome sister} goes to university, to help her get ready for a ball tonight. After she left mum and I sat in the living room of her house, while her flat mates just wanted to get to know me better....over a cup of tea ofcourse. They wanted us to stay for dinner, and stay the night too if needed. So awesome. I secretly love that the women and girls here aren't covered in makeup. I love that they wear jeans and sweaters to family functions. Everyone is so authentic, real and down to earth. its so refreshing. sigh.
how my heart longs to be back. I went house hunting with my best friend and her hubby yesterday, and I am so incredibly excited for them. I can't wait for it to be our turn - someday!!
I was thinking today about how I could describe New Zealand and its people, to non-kiwis. I really can't think of the words. But its magical. I remember after our wedding, all of our foreign guests just raved about their time, and how hospitable everyone was. I didn't have a single person not say to me that they wanted to live here one day. It does that too you...gets into your blood.
I feel like I can be ME here....unabashed, mess and all. I love that I could have a messy house, and have people over....does anyone else get a little bit sick of keeping up the image of perfection in America (and elsewhere?!). I do. I feel like I have to be martha stewart sometimes...with nice clothes, a manicured front lawn, and the latest STUFF. Don't forget the HUGE diamond you have to have on your left hand. Can't live without that.
I really am not trying to bash the states, I do love it - truly. But there are some things about some of the culture that drives me nuts. And being home makes it all the more blatant.
So I have two wonderful weeks to let my hair down, soak in the love and hospitality and put my makeup bag away. And to enjoy copious cups of tea with people I love and treasure. Who, best of all, make the time for me.
Thank you Lord for this rest, you are so Faithful.

I love my husband.

Ok, so I sometimes have a hard time being all gushy and romantic on the web because a) I don't want to hurt singles b) I don't want to appear fake or attention seeking c) my love for noah is legit and doesn't need facebook or my blog to go to bat for it.BUT My wonderful friend Nicole is committed to end spouse-bashing on the web, and create a "love-bashing" of our husbands (or so she calls it!). So, my beloved Noah, how do I love thee? let me count the ways....
- I love that you love me, even when I am stressed out/freaking out/psyched out
- Your love for me is such a picture of God's love for me, because it is sacrificial, grace filled, honoring and merciful.
- I love that you cry with me when we watch sappy movies
- (on that note) I love how you know when I am ABOUT to start crying, so you pull me close to you and kiss my forehead
- I love that you share all things with me, and that we have no secrets
- I love that you want to be the very best husband you can be
- I love that you love my dreams, and are committed to seeing them come true, even when I start to give up
- I love that you want to share parenting, so I can work if I need to, and aren't obssessed with your career
- I love watching you work on yourself, as you try to become more like Jesus
- I love that you buy me bags of fair trade coffee when away on your trips
- I love that you make the bed everyone morning with me, and keep the house tidy even when I'm away, because you love me
- I love that I can trust you, and never ever doubt you
- I love how you stand up for me, and are strong for me when I am so, so weak
- I love your heart for others & the poor, and love that I can partner with you in dreaming about missions
- I admire you, respect you, love you (ofcourse!) and am inspired by your faithfullness, patience and goodness.
- I love that you push me to exercise....its so good for me, but how I hate it..
- I love that you want to spoil me, and boy you do a good job at it!
- I love your face, and love falling asleep to it and waking up to it
- I love our life together, and couldn't have even dreamed up a better one. You are my soul mate, I will love you all the days of my life.

ramblings from a sleep deprived mind

Its quite late in New Zealand right now, and I have been up for approximately 36 hours with only a 4 hour nap on the plane....so I am definitely not as sharp as I could be. But my awesome husband couldn't come with me on this trip, so my keyboard will have to be my processing forum for this trip (since its 5am his time). I have been in New Zealand about ten hours right now. I am sitting on my old bed, in my old bedroom, in the house I grew up in. I grew up in this room. Cried and laughed in this room. Left this house in a beautiful white dress to go marry the man of my dreams.
Its kinda strange being back.
I have so, so many thoughts. Firstly, what a privileged life I live. I am a citizen of two countries, and have beautiful friendships in both places. I am an international, and have a global worldview as a result. I have so many amazing opportunities because of my unique life...but I also don't live a life like many other people. Not many people know that pains of a life filled with goodbyes. Not many people have flown internationally every single year of their life. Not many people skype on a daily basis. I live a pretty incredibly full life. My weekends aren't spent eating icecream, watching movies, scouring blog sites and blogging (I think I would like that...I blog like once every 6 months...but I would probably get bored with the predictability). No, I spend my weekends doing school work, or at work (every other...the joys of being a nurse!). The precious free time I do have is spent with hubs, talking/catching up and just enjoying each others company.
Sometimes I wonder if my life is behind everyone elses...ya know, we won't be having kids for a while, buying a house is at least 7 years away, and I still have a longing for graduate school. A lot of my friends seem to be moving way faster than me.
But ya know what, our life isn't like everyone elses. We are called to different things. A tough calling, but its ours. I think in the end, even though it is difficult, the growth it will bring will be awesome....I also think Noah and I will have a deeper relationship than maybe some other people would have, because of the mountains and valleys we endured.
On that note, even though it is so hard sometimes because we dont have a lot of community and friends, a mentor of mine the other day told me she though that this time we have together is super special, and that we should feel super blessed that we are in a situation where we can just pour into eachother because we don't have a lot of family & friend commitments. She thought that maybe God has a busy season ahead for us, and he is blessing us with this time now because he knows time may be harder to find in the future. It was such a good 'perspective' moment for me. I need to be content with where God has us, even though it may not look like what I wanted or dreamed it would look like. Because its even better than I could imagine because God sees so much more of the picture than I do.
I have to admit though, its tough to be here in a sense. I have so many people in Auckland who know me, love me, have a history and root system with me....we are connected by memories and experiences that span my childhood. My dad is a pastor so I have a whole church body I am close to. My life was filled with people coming into our home, as my parents are hugely gifted in hospitality. I am used to a life with a thriving community. I don't have that in Minnesota. I don't even know what that looks like for me as wife, and for us as a married couple, because we just haven't been connected into that type of fellowship. Being back makes me want it so bad. I just want to pack up and move here as soon as we can next year. But then would that be right? we shouldnt move just for people right? but God designed us for community? Do we suck it up a little more and be in Australia for grad school? do we come back to NZ instead? decisions, decisions. more like praying for leading. praying for leading.
I know it is in our future though. We feel the call back to New Zealand. Maybe thats why God wants us to enjoy our time together now, because he knows how full our life will be in NZ. Maybe, just maybe.
sorry for the ramble...going to bed now....zzz

A simple life?

My thoughts aren't really happy and shiny today. But I need to get them out. For anyone reading this, this isn't meant at anyone directly. Nobody has failed me as a friend. We are who we are, and God directs us all differently. But sometimes I feel really different. I wish I knew someone who was like me, who could encourage me in my path in the ways I didn't know needed encouraging. I think we all have a desire to be known, that somebody out there in the world understands those deep down feelings, the ones that we often can't put into words but so strongly direct us. I have an amazing husband who thankfully is wired very similarly to me....but not exactly. He is a scientist, and his heart beats for getting people clean water and building new infrastructure in developing countries. So, so cool I know - but I wouldn't say he passionately desires to see women be free from morbidities associated from obstetric complications. :)
I am a third culture kid. I have moved countries three times, and have friendships and family flung thousands of miles away. I live far, far away from my family and connected community. I know that heart wrenching pain of saying goodbye, and not knowing when the next hello will be again. My parents were missionaries, as were their parents. I grew up around transient people, whose stories ignited a fire deep within me for the broken, lost and marginalized. I can't fathom living in one place more than ten years - the thought just isn't appealing. I see the world with such different eyes, because I have heard and seen things many people here haven't heard and seen. Life has had really difficult moments for me, in which I have had to deal with decisions and loss alone, as I was far away from loved ones and trusted mentors. I want so much more than to just have a house, a dog and three kids with summers spent at the lake. My dream is to tread into the rural foothills of Nepal, and the jungles of South America, and teach women how to manage labor and deal with complications when they arise. I want to establish programs that encourage breastfeeding, and improve maternal and perinatal health outcomes. I want children too, but I imagine them coming along with me to home visits, and being part of our journey. I see Auckland as our home base, but I know we will be gone frequently as we leave pieces of our hearts in far away corners of the world. These are the dreams I so long to share with a friend who understands. I have lots of beautiful and wonderful girlfriends who encourage me, but none whose hearts beat for the same things. Some just truly want to settle in one place. Go them, I just can't relate. I would love to discuss the WHO's millennium goals with a friend, and brainstorm ways in which we could contribute to their initiatives - or create one's of our own. I am sure once I move more into the area I will meet like-minded people, it would just be nice right now while I am in the decision making process to discuss some of these thoughts!!! Noah has been just amazing...even though I talk about the same things over and over he still listens and asks questions and is willing to discuss everything (even though the outcomes are never different, haha!). I am so glad he understands my heart, and knows how difficult and isolating it can be to be counter-cultural.
So many people I meet are simple...not that that is bad in any way, but our worlds are just so different. I often get, "wow, you have done so much for someone your age...I have never even been outside of Minnesota". During lunch breaks at work, we just talk about what happened during the weekend with the kids, and upcoming vacation plans to Disneyland. These women are amazing and incredible nurses, but this is their life. It is so different to mine. Sometimes its isolating. But, I have a heritage that brings isolation. My parents named me for Amy Carmichael - an English women who spent her life in India, rescuing girls who were given to be temple prostitutes. Her writings talk about feelings of isolation, but she lived a life of fullness. Maybe I will never have a friend exactly like me - thats ok. I have a Father who has placed those dreams in my heart, and He knows. He understands. I can rest in that.