Seasons of Change

I sometimes feel like I am always making these huge life decisions. Like change follows my shadow. I can look back and savor those few months here and there when life was just...stable. There were no big decisions to be made, I was just living in the season.

Five years ago I decided to move to the U.S. Then I decided to stay and do nursing school. Then I met Noah and we decided to get engaged. Then decided to get married in New Zealand. Before we got married Noah decided to apply to graduate school. That led us to Minnesota.

For about a year life was simple. Noah was in graduate school. I was working as a nurse and finishing my bachelors. Life had purpose and direction. There was no worry about the future because we just knew we have to be here and get 'er done.
Sigh. That was then.

In May Noah graduated - which meant that our season, and reason for being in Minnesota, had ended. And thus our season of transition, again, has arrived.

We are in a flurry of change related activity. Pending the outcome of a graduate school application I have in New Zealand, we are preparing to move back home. Noah is applying for NZ residency, I am applying for a NZ nursing license and Noah is looking for work. We are doing research about moving companies, looking into living situations and planning our travel. Its intense! and soooo much paperwork!

Its also really expensive. NZ nursing license: $500. Residency application: $1200. Medical exam: $300. FBI clearance cards $60. IELTS exam for nursing: $185. Plus passport photos, notorized documents, courier fees and FLIGHTs! arrg, I could think of so many fun vacations we could have gone on right now.

Its also hard because we are feeling like right now we are preparing for this huge change, but we don't even know if its going to happen. If I don't get accepted into the grad programme, we probably won't move right away.
We want to stay, save money and travel. But we certainly don't want to stay in the Midwest (no THANKS!).
Which means a cross country move (because we love the Northwest!) and new jobs.

We are so ready for change, but powerless to really do anything about it right now.
I feel like I am in this wierd transition period where nothing is happening but we know something will, so we have to prepare for it, but we can't really.
Confusing right?!?!

I am learning a lot about myself and about being content in all seasons, even this one. I also am being forced to let go of things that I cannot control and trust that God will take care of us no matter what.

I think that's always going to be a season that I am in.